More About Listening and About Connecting

How do we listen to our children?  Do we give our full attention when they have something important to say?  I remember my oldest son taking my face in his little toddler hands and saying, "I need to tell you something, Mommy."  I was, like most mothers, just trying to get things done but it was in those times that I realized that I needed to STOP and LISTEN.

Children communicate in many ways: through what they say, how they behave, and by their body language.  Tots are open and honest.  They tell you how they feel and say exactly what they want or don't want.  It's easier to respond when your child is open.  Teens, on the other hand, may require more attention to determine how they really feel about things.  If they trust you, teens may open up to their parents especially if they feel a sense of connection.  If they don't feel connected, we know that they turn to their peers.

Ask yourself, how much do you really know about your child?  Do you know what your child's interests are, what he/she feels strongly about, what goals s/he has, and who their friends are?  If not, ask questions based on an interest in your child not like an inquistion.  Ask and then LISTEN.  When you really know your child, then you can parent the best.

More on connecting  . . .

Look for what things will bond your child to you.  Do you share interests with your child?  Can you get interested in things they like?  Can you do things together that you both enjoy?  Spending quality time together will build connection and make parenting easier.  Spending time together as a family and creating lasting memories filled with joy and laughter will strengthen the bond you have together.

The First C - Connection

CONNECTION

“The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.... A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.”

Rachel Naomi Remen

Connection is the one way that we can help our kids feel loved.   We find it easier to connect when our children are babies, helpless and dependent on us for everything.  We are constantly holding and feeding and attending to our babies.  We anxiously wait to hear every sound our baby makes and watch for every development in our baby: first coo, first smile, first laugh, first steps.  The challenge is when our babies grow up and become more independent.  How then do we build connection?

We can start by listening.  That means stop what we are doing no matter how important what we are doing may seem at the time and just LISTEN.  This is very challenging with our busy lives - cellphones, work assignments, and driving our kids to sports.  It is extremely important, however, if we want a close relationship with our children.  When our children talk, we need to stop what we are doing and just listen.

Parenting

Parenting is the most difficult job in the world.  It tests all your patience and your energy.  Parenting is also the most important thing you will ever do and the most rewarding.  Ask any parent and he/she will say they can’t imagine their life without children.  How to minimize the bumps and maximize the thrills and joys in parenting is the real challenge.

Now on to the first C in The Three C's of Parenting Guide  . . .

My Story

I am the mother of two, a teen (13) and a toddler (3).  The joys and the challenges of parenting these two stages of child development are evident everyday.  My older one makes me realize how fast time goes by and my younger one shows me the little things to be grateful for.  Each stage has its challenges and everyday I'm learning more.  As I go through this journey of parenting a teen and a tot, I take what I've learned working with children for 21 years, as a teacher and a counsellor, and what I've learned from other parents and I apply this knowledge to my own parenting.

As a result of my years of experience in child education and from my own experiences of parenting, I am in the process of developing a guide to bring parents closer to their children and for children to be given what they need to thrive and become caring adults.  Over many more posts to come, I will be revealing my guide titled, The Three C's of Parenting.  I hope it will be helpful in your parenting journey.  Enjoy!